In this issue:

Performing your Poetry
Workshops On Planet Comedy
Rules for Writers - Comedy Commandments
Your Successes


SLAMMING WITH STYLE
by Gill Smith

Events like the BSCW Networking Day can leave a writer feeling that there is nothing else to write for but TV and maybe radio, if you have a spare five minutes. These are, of course, great places to write for, which eat up comedy like Elvis at a burger bar. And who wouldn't want their own sitcom on BBC 1? But we should never forget that there are plenty of comedy writing opportunities beyond that. It isn't all sitcom / sketch shows, and it isn't all on broadcast media.

Almost anything that can be written, can be written with humour - from articles to novels, to poems. Perhaps the Obituary might count as an exception, but even that can be funny if the deceased would have liked it! So no opportunity to write is ruled out for funny people. It just isn't always easy to find out about the opportunities. We've discussed Am Dram, for those of you interested in that - which is not only an opportunity to perform, but can help hone your work for TV or Radio.

This month, I want to look at Slam Poetry. As a poet, I'd love to be publishing the 'Please Mrs Butler' of the new millennium, but I do need to build up an entire collection first, with confidence that all my poems are funny and accessible. I also need to gain some recognition as a poet. And one of the ways to do that, is to perform my work; to read my own poetry at readings and in Poetry Slams.

So what is Slam Poetry?

Poetry Slams are being organised all around the country, and are events where poets compete for prizes, glory, and the opportunity to enjoy the sound of their own voices a little more. Poetry isn't well known as a competition sport, but the event is basically similar to a sporting knock-out tournament. (But no handicaps, sadly, for those of us just starting out!)

I've been along to several, all organised by the fun-loving Slam Productions - a pair of word- and fun-loving poets, prepared to travel for a good verse. Their Slams work like this: a maximum of sixteen poets enter the fray. These sixteen all have to write thirty words about themselves beforehand, so they can be suitably introduced. Given poets should be good at being brief, this shouldn't be too tricky.

On the night, each heat of four is drawn out of the hat, (a slightly worn grey top hat, in fact) and then announced, before going up to perform. When they are finished, the results are added up, and the next heat is drawn.

As each poet in each heat performs, they are judged on three aspects, by judges among the audience. Entrants are judged on quality of the poetry, quality of the performance, and the audience's reaction. The first is a simple matter of taste - is the poem good, well-written, and if rhyming, are the rhymes interesting - does it keep you guessing?

The second is a matter of the performance suiting the poem. You don't want the poet grinning from ear to ear over a poem on death, unless it really is meant to be comedy! A comedy poem can be improved greatly by a performance that draws the audience in - whether this is through smiling yourself, or playing innocent and carrying on in spite of the absurdity of the poem. One poet I know even performs bare-foot. It suits his absurd, off the wall comedy. It wouldn't suit my more observational style.

Reading, rather than knowing a poem can sometimes detract from the performance, as the poet speaks down towards the paper. Other times, it can improve it, as the poet focuses, holds their head and voice steady, and avoids the wobbles of fear of forgetting. Performance is all about the poet choosing what suits their persona, and poem.

The third judging category - the audience reaction - must be difficult to judge. In comedy, that's mainly about laughs. Cheering and whooping at the end is obviously good too. But deep poems, that incite an emotional reaction, can lead to stunned silence. Judges are made aware that this is an appropriate response, and that the poet has done well to ensure it.

At the end of the heats, a winner goes through to the semi-final from each. A highest-scoring runner up from all the heats does so too. This can be disappointing, if you're in an early round, when scores tend to be lower, but can work in your favour if you are drawn out of the hat later.

After an interval, the semi-final is then between four heat winners and one best-scoring runner up. Each name is drawn out of the hat, then the poet has to perform at once, with just a moment to compose themselves, during which a specially written (during the interval) introduction is read out. As they leave the stage, they pick the next name out of the hat, carefully keeping all contestants nervous throughout!

Once these marks are in, the two highest scoring go head to head in the final. Like all the other rounds, poets have just three minutes to impress their audience with their skill as a poet and a performer.

Finally, the results are in, a winner is announced, and prizes given out. The winner then has a chance to perform another short poem. And then everyone gets to go home, having watched and listened to a wide variety of styles of poetry, and of performing. Every one of the competitors has had the chance to learn something about the poems they write, and their own performance. Whether they go on to be the next John Hegley, or prefer to learn useful tips on comic timing and structure from the experience to go on to write for TV or radio, or even do both, Slam Poetry is a lot of fun along the way.

Slam Productions (http://www.author.co.uk/slam) organise slams around the South West, including Cheltenham, and Swindon, venturing East to Reading, Bracknell, Richmond, Oxford, and into the Midlands for a new Birming'slam. This article is very much based on the Slams they organise. However, there are other groups organising slam poetry, so if you aren't in that area, a little research should help you find a local slam to enter.

Creatures of the Night organise a Poetry Slam at The Green Room, Whitworth Street West, Manchester. The next is May 24th, 9pm, £3. Book a slot on 0161-615-0500 or email rosie.lugosi@garlandprod.freeserve.co.uk.

Slam Productions can offer you May 10th at Reading's South Street, and May 11th in Swindon. E-mail slam@scarum.freeserve.co.uk to get involved.

And if you're finding another route in writing comedy - in any form or style, I'd love to know about it in an article. are you the next Tom Lehrer or Flanders & Swan, and want to share how much fun it is? Perhaps you've persuaded your local paper to let you write a comedy column, and could help us all by sharing how you did it? Do write me an article - the usual address - gill@bscw.co.uk.



PLANET COMEDY INTERVIEW
Reproduced by permission of Brian West

Planet Comedy recently caught up with Channel 4 comedy writers Barclay & West at the BSCW Networking Day in London.

Planet Comedy: How did your countrywide tour of comedy writing workshops come about?

Andrew Barclay: When Ken Rock asked Brian and I to speak at the 'British Society of Comedy Writers Conference' in November, we were struck by an overwhelming sense of negativity among some of the speakers.

Brian West: Particularly certain visiting producers who seemed to focus on all the reasons why it's unbelievably difficult to break into the comedy writing business.

AB: We decided to try and blow this particular cobweb away. When we did, it was like a cloud lifted over the conference. The response from delegates was very, very good.

BW: We tried to focus on the positive. Comedy writing should be fun. Don't get too desperate about achieving instant success.

AB: And don't be afraid to do it your way.

BW: Find your own particular corner of the comedy market, and stick to it like glue. Create your own unique comedy "brand", and give yourself room, and plenty of time, to develop it.

AB: Comedy is a product. You just have to find the right shop to sell it in. A shop that suits you.

BW: Don't get bogged down with too many endless "this is how you should present scripts" leaflets sent out by the big broadcasters.

AB: And, whetever you do, don't take no for an answer. Sod the rejection letters. They're wrong, you're right. Believe in your own unique niche of comedy writing, and be totally pig-headed about it.

PC: Did you guys follow a traditional route in order to get your feet in the door?

BW: Not really, no. Andrew and I knew what the rules were. but we broke them - and we still managed to get a comedy series onto Channel 4.

AB: At the end of the day, most development producers and commissioning editors are not former comedy writers, script editors, or experts on scriptwriting.

PC: Is that really true?

AB: Definitely. Our comedy writing workshops are very simple. They concentrate on the good things in people's writing. They don't trot out the usual string of generic criticism and smug analysis.

BW: The only way new talent can get good at writing comedy is to be encouraged to write more and more. And to try their material out in front of an audience.

AB: There's not a budding writer in the world who is not capable, with a bit of imagination, of getting their material in front of an audience. No matter how small. It's only when they do that, that they'll really start to learn about comedy writing.

BW: We encourage the people who come to our workshops to find ways of reaching an audience that are outside of the usual "send in a script to the BBC" route. Anyone can start their own comedy club or small fringe venue. All you need is a friendly landlord, a big room above a pub, and a free listing in a local entertainment magazine.

AB: The sky's the limit. Vic Reeves' Big Night Out started with a bunch of guys pissing around in a pub. You just have to "think outside the box". Don't try and get into someone else's exclusive little comedy clique. start your own!

BW: And it doesn't even have to be in a bar. There's always the internet.

To find out more about what Andrew and Brian are up to, have a look at http://www.comedyworks.co.uk/



THE COMEDY WRITER'S TEN COMMANDMENTS
By Mike Wilson of NAWG.

1. Thou shalt love, honour and respect thy Comedy Writing. Thou shalt not heed those who utter evil words about thy Comedy Writing but shalt uphold thy Comedy Writing by word and deed at all times.

2. Thou shalt abhor the virgin parchment and shall cover it daily with scripts from the depths of thy mind and thy heart and thy soul that others may marvel at the wisdom and beauty and perception and humour of thy Writing.

3. Thou shalt strive for excellence in thy Comedy Writing. Thou shalt watch over thy spelling, thy punctuation and thy grammar with the eyes of a hawk. Thou shalt hone thy double-entendres and burnish thine one-liners. Thou shalt exercise and practice thy Comedy Writing, lest perfection evade thee, making thee a laughing stock, but then, that is what thou seekest.

4. Thou shalt not be envious of thy neighbour's Comedy Writing, but devote all thine emotions to thine own Comedy Writing.

5. Thou shalt not harbour resentment should good fortune and laughter fall upon thy neighbour's Comedy Writing, but offer praise, so that praise may be heaped upon thee in thy good fortune.

6. Thou shalt not covet the wherewithal of thy neighbour's Comedy Writing but shall diligently strive with all thy might to gain sufficiency unto thyself.

7. Thou shalt not cast aspersions upon thy neighbour's Comedy Writing, but remain content that thine own Comedy Writing is beyond reproach and criticism.

8. Thou shalt remember thy good fortune and be charitable to those less gifted than thyself. Thou shalt not hazard thy Comedy Writing by being anxious over others, remembering at all times that thy Comedy Writing shall take precedence over all things, including inflatable bladder contests. Thou shalt deny thyself the evil eye of television, except when delving into its mysterious ways.

9. Thou shalt pick up thy quill with a good heart knowing thy good fortune to be thine own master as a Comedy Writer. Thou shalt face adversities with a smile, and cast rejection slips into eternal Hellfire.

10. Thou shalt keep thy workplace seemly, knowing that it is as a glass to the ways of thy mind.

(Mike Wilson is editor of 'LINK' Magazine - the monthly publication of the National Association of Writers Groups.)



YOUR SUCCESSES

Nicholas Corder reports that he "has two very different publications coming out this year. 'Learning to Teach Adults - An Introduction' - a textbook which actually has funny bits in it - is published by RoutledgeFalmer in May."

Cressrelles will also be publishing his one act play "Nigel's Wrist". Nigels' Wrist has already been performed by several groups and had a professional production at Keswick's Theatre by the Lake. Nicholas explains "Set in a sperm bank, Nigel's Wrist is the story of hapless postgraduate student Nigel Struthers and his attempts to donate. The play has also won an award, aptly sponsored by Siemens."

Subscriber Janice Day tells us "I'd like to proclaim the success of having my first article published. It will come out in the May issue of Scriptwriter Magazine and is a light-hearted review of the BSCW Networking Day on 23rd March. It's rather more lighthearted than informative I'm afraid. And I hereby publicly apologise to anyone I will offend now and in the future. Phew! I'm glad that's sorted."

That all sounds a bit worrying! But she goes on to say "At least I was able to give the Society a good plug, and I understand there'll be a picture of Ken too. Anyone who would like to own a picture of Ken Rock can subscribe to this excellent magazine through Julian Friedmann (julian@scriptwritermagazine.com)" And I'm sure Ken can be persuaded to autograph them at the next conference!

Frank E. Tennis also has success to share with us "I have had seven quickies accepted by 'The Sketch Show.' No contracts but I have signed an undertaking not to offer them elsewhere. Mind you, there is many a slip: series 2 is not due to be broadcast - so far as I know - until September."

Gill Smith was delighted to win first prize in a poetry competition with a comic sonnet. The competition, run by Sony was for owners of their electronic pets, called AIBOs, and verses were meant to praise the robots... this nicely limits the possible entry, but the prize was still cash!



Your entries for the Robert McKee workshop place should be with me by now. If you still want to enter, you'll need to get an e-mail to my computer before I start work tomorrow morning (8AM) and I'll then arrange the draw.

Don't forget to send me your successes for next month's e-zine. I'd also particularly appreciate a volunteer to share their experiences of the Golden Rose of Montreux festival with us. Send anything for the E-zine to gill@bscw.co.uk.