In This Issue :

Roger Davison reflects on his experiences at the BSCW Sitcom workshop
News of the second Wally Malston Award
Review of William Smethurst's 'Writing for Television'
More BSCW member successes
A plea for help and a meeting TODAY


THIS SERIOUS BUSINESS OF WRITING SITCOMS
by Roger Davison

'It's going to be one of those weekends,' I thought to myself as the train arrived on time. That's my allocation of good luck used up and I've only just started.

I'd read his books, 'Successful Sitcom Writing' and 'Successful Scriptwriting.' Now I was on my way to meet the guru himself, Jurgen Wolff. The BSCW had organised a weekend workshop at Regents College, London, run by Jurgen, a writer with such credits to his name as, Benson, Family Ties, The Love Boat, and many others. He also worked many years in Hollywood, taught at the University of Southern California, and in between, wrote a few films for Disney. Not a bad CV, eh?

They always seem to home in on me. This time he was in the guise of a ticket inspector, but there was no mistaking the stalking gait and the manic look on his face. He plucked the ticket from my hand and held it in two fingers as though it needed disinfecting. After several minutes of careful scrutiny a look of triumph dawned. Raising himself to his full five-foot-four and expanding his chest, he cleared his throat.

"You are on the wrong track," he proudly announced to everyone, showing exhibit number one, the ticket, to all quarters whilst indicating the offending words with the dirty nail of his right forefinger.

"Where am I going then?" I asked.

"London Kings Cross."

I'd already sized Jobsworth up and was determined he'd have a fight on his hands if he tried to kick me off the train.

"That's where I want to be."

"Oh you're on the right train," he said repeating the ticket display routine, "But I'm afraid you're on the wrong track."

Unimpressed the rest of the passengers resumed reading their early morning papers.

"What do you suggest I do about it?" I asked.

He looked confused for a while, but inspiration eventually came.

"You should always check the tickets when you receive them..." He then delivered a detailed delineation on the administrative system of the GNER, during which I also returned to my reading.

The train pulled in at Kings Cross eight minutes early. After checking the signposts just to make sure the train hadn't changed to the track stated on my ticket, I made my way to the taxi rank.

As my taxi screeched to a halt I noticed the driver was female. Caught like a rabbit in the headlights I had no option but to get in. I suppose it's some sort of divine retribution for the unkind things I've said about women drivers in the past. Now don't get me wrong, I am not sexist at all, far from it, I love women. In fact I always look at page three of the Sun whenever someone else is daft enough to buy it.

Actually she was quite a good driver and I even thought of telling her that she'd given me a good ride, but decided against it.

With a name like Jurgen Wolff he could only be tall and slim, with those Gothic chiselled features and full lips. He was.

I expected Gill Smith to be pretty young lady with an infectious smile, and those who know her will recognise the description.

As far as Ken Rock is concerned - well it's not everyone that can have an onomatopoeic name, Ken. You know there are rugby league players and boxers who would give a fortune for a name like yours. One thing for sure, though, I soon worked out that the BSCW is in good hands with Ken at the helm.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be writing about the course.

After an introduction from Jurgen, during which I got the distinct impression he has a healthy contempt for British TV producers, we split into groups of three for a role-playing exercise. I drew Ken and a charming lady called Annette Ward. Within minutes the ice was broken and we were laughing along with each other.

During lunch I had a look around the college bookshop, but gave up trying to find anything because I couldn't understand their classifications. No joking, under 'Careers and Personal Development' I found Much Ado About Nothing, A Comedy of Errors, and Great Expectations.

In the afternoon Jurgen took us through some sort of transcendental process during which we created characters for the sitcom we were about to devise. Although I was rather sceptical, I must say it worked for me.

Later that afternoon we split into two groups of six and began planning our sitcom using brainstorming techniques. I use these methods myself, but Jurgen takes things several stages further and they really do prove effective.

That night Jurgen took us to a pub on the Marylebone Road, where we sat outside and watched the rest of the world go by. It had been an exceptionally hot day and Ken made heroic efforts to replace the vast amounts of body fluid he said he'd lost.

The following day Jurgen talked about beginning the sitcom, story construction, scene construction, queries, proposals, and pitching. Both groups, however, spent most of the last day shaping their sitcoms and selling them to the other group.

When six writers with a sense of humour get together it can't fail to generate something funny. I'm not so sure where we might have found a market for our script; even Channel 4 would have been wary, but there was no doubt that it was extremely funny and we had tremendous enjoyment putting it together.

After a final confidence boosting talk from Jurgen it was all over, a very useful, informative, and enjoyable weekend. Should Jurgen repeat the exercise, any sitcom writer who doesn't attend is going to lose out, honestly, it's a must.

As I stood looking at the Kings Cross departure board the beautiful Sarah Lancashire came into view struggling with two large bags, which she dumped on the floor beside me. She was looking at details of the Leeds train, the same train I was catching! Remembering what Jurgen had just taught me, I went straight into brainstorm mode. 'Thank you so much, Roger, for helping me with those heavy bags. Why don't you come and sit with me in first-class and have a drink, or two. You can tell me about your writing. Strangely enough I'm looking for someone to write a good part for me, I thought maybe...

As I turned to offer the damsel my assistance my mobile phone rang. It was the wife. How the hell does she do that? They must have some sort of sixth sense. I made a mental note to ask Jurgen about it.

Needless to say, by the time I'd finished listening, Sarah was being assisted onto the train by some opportunist bum.

I know it sounds incredible, but the ticket inspector on the train home was good old Jobsworth again. We went through the same routine, which impressed no one apart from a spotty faced youth wearing an anorak. He keenly examined the exhibited ticket, double-checked the carriage number, seat number, and whether it was facing forward or backward. I think he was going to check my name until he saw the look on my face. I kept my eye on him all the way home.

"Yes darling, it was a great weekend," I said to my dear wife when I got home. "And worth every penny of the money you paid."


SECOND WALLY MALSTON AWARD

The comedy writing award was won in its second year by Dave Cohen, and awarded at the Grosvenor House Hotel Ballroom on 16th June.

Tom O'Connor was MC for the night, which was organised by Comic Heritage, and Barry Cryer, who had received his OBE that same morning, had the further honour of handing over the award.

Dave Cohen has worked as a performer, and contributed to Radio 4 shows such as the News Quiz, Sunday Format and Dead Ringers. TV shows he has worked on include Rory Bremner, working with Dennis Norden, and an as-yet-unseen sketch show URHere.

'World of Pub' written by last year's winner, Tony Roche is now appearing on your TV screens, on BBC 2.


BOOK REVIEW - WRITING FOR TELEVISION

William Smethurst's 'Writing for Television' - How To Books - £9.99

Writing for Television is subtitled 'How to write and sell successful TV scripts. It's a well laid out book, full of practical information and advice on breaking into your chosen profession. Smethurst is very positive, frequently assuring readers that there are producers and directors out there who are looking for writers - both for new series and for long-running programs. Of course, these TV types who are waiting for you need to be queried properly, as outlined in the book. You then send them your brilliantly written screenplay or sitcom script, for which there is also help and guidance - including such underestimated issues as writing not only to length, but to a limited production budget.

Chapters include story and theme, style, structure, plotting, visual interest, dialogue and characterisation. Smethurst also covers situation comedy, soap operas, presentation, markets which are more difficult, and which are actively looking for writers. He covers the most common queries, demonstrates how to lay out your script, and explains the private language used in the TV world. He lists organisations and addresses that may be helpful, although, as with any submission, check these first - they go out of date incredibly fast.

This all seems enormously helpful, and if I have a complaint, it's that the book gives the impression that by this time next week, we'll all be millionaires, and without any help from Chris Tarrant. The impression the book leaves is that the minute you've dashed off a script, producers will be fighting for your work. Smethurst does give suitable warning to rework, revise and improve your work, but the overall feel is that the industry is easy to break into. I'm sure there are plenty of you who would like to disagree with that.

Once you've finished being annoyed at that assumption, get back to the writing, follow his advice - which does, generally speaking, seem both sound and helpful - and we'll all meet up at next year's BAFTA awards, shall we?


BSCW MEMBER/ SUBSCRIBER SUCCESSES

The sun must have been getting to you all, because we're a bit thin on material this month. Thankfully, Alan Stafford reports; "Following my most successful series of News Huddlines to date(16 gags and 3 sketches broadcast, and another 4 sketches recorded but cut before transmission) I've just heard that I'll be joining the team of commissioned writers for the next series, starting in September. This is the point when comedy writing starts to become just a little scary. Now I'm paid in advance to be funny!"

He continues "I've also had some success with my second series of the Russ Abbot radio show (going out later this year, or early next). The shows have now been through the final edit - and four of my sketches plus a quickie have survived the chop!"


HELP WANTED

If anyone attended - or performed in - the London Comedy Festival 2001, and is prepared to review it for the BSCW E-zine, please contact Gill as soon as possible (gill@bscw.co.uk).

Also, if anyone is planning to attend the Edinburgh Festival, I would appreciate a review of it. I'd love to have several different opinions of the events. Volunteers to write something about the event, please contact Gill.

Ken will be editing the September E-zine while I'm on holiday - for this month please send your success stories to him - ken@bscw.co.uk

TODAY - Just in from one of our members - There is a scriptwriters forum at the Light House Wolverhampton on Wednesday 1st August at 7.00. All welcome.